Eyes Of A Fallen Angel
by DunkelBlau
Summary: Look everybody, 'Morte wrote a songfic! Anway, um ... it's a deathfic, we've got 1x2 as a pairing (no Yaoi, sorry), death, cursing, sucide, OOC, opinion of afterlife, screwed up timeline, badly written. I've warned you and ruined it for you, so I don't wa


Eyes of a Fallen Angel  
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Hn. Uttoushii here. I've thrown Morningstar out of the chair, because I'm bored with Wufei, whom has been here for *quite* a while waiting for the girl to finish her fanfic. All the boy does is meditate and play with his sword thingy *from background* "It's a katana you fu-" *sound is muffled and you hear a very loud sigh and something muttered in Latin* Anyway ... now that I've used my convenient sorcerer powers to tie him up and the ever-so-useful threat of blood being sucked *licks lips* I can finish this in peace. Here's her first song fic. She sings this song all the time. You've hear it, haven't you? Three Libras, by A Perfect Circle? It isn't her *best* writing, but it's not bad. She doesn't own the song ... or the characters, but it's not as though someone from Bandai or Maynard James Keenan is reading this, right? I didn't think so. *looks over shoulder and frowns* Well, I've got to fly, literally : Era[1] 'Star has finally become conscious again and I'm fearing for my safety. Well, here's this story she's been working on. Hope you like it! It was inspired by me yo- ^WHAM!^ *Morningstar holds up Wufei's katana, smiles at it and hands it back to him. He smiles, and put it back to where ever he keeps it. He looks *very* thankful to be untied and freed from the possibility of being killed*  
  
"Wow! I actually knocked the little asshole out! Damn muses!"  
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/Threw you the obvious/   
  
"Duo!" I called after him, "Duo! Watch your back!" The boy turned around and gave me a confused look before running into ahead into the OZ building anyway. He knew he had loaded the base down with too many explosives. It was as if he *wanted* to be killed.  
  
"Hee-chan, don't worry! I left something in there! I'll be out before it goes off!" He called after me. All I could do was think about him ... and how he had only a minute to get the hell back out here.  
  
/And you flew with it on your back/  
  
He ran in there ... and what did I do? I just stood there, knowing that he probably wouldn't make it out. I was frozen, my eyes locked on the door, praying silently to myself that he'd be out soon. But I never got a chance to see if he made it out before the explosion, because as soon as the countdown got to thirty seconds, I ran like the weakling I really am. If Wufei were to have seen me, he'd had killed me out of disgust. The thing was, he didn't see me - an Oz guard did.  
  
/A name in your recollection/  
  
"It's a spy!" the guard screamed, motioning in my direction, alerting all of the other guards in the area. At once, they all began swarming around, shooting at me and trying to get more help to get me captured. Of course, it didn't work. They *were* going up after the Perfect Soldier after all, weren't they? I ran as fast as I could, scaled the fence, and jumped in a ditch. As soon as I made it in the ditch, I could feel the heat of the air increasing and see the orange flames and golden sparks flying. The heat and bump on my head from landing in the ditch was enough to knock even -me- out.  
  
/Down among a million, say:/  
  
When I came to, I was still a bit woozy, but my mind was locked on finding him. All I had to do was look for that long braid, and it would be easy, right? Wrong. I stood up, and dusted myself off. Gazing around, I swear to the Gods, my jaw slammed onto the ground, bounced, and flew back up to my face. There must have been a million bodies, everywhere. Most of them were dead for sure, and those that weren't were in horrible shape. Some were in pieces, and sadly enough, some of the people still alive were missing limbs. You could tell they were alive because of the moans, screams, and death throes forcing their bodies to convulse in pain and frustration. Gulping, I began to search for him. I couldn't, just *could not* have a repeat of that colony. A person I had feelings for - be that friendship or otherwise - someone who could make me smile, blown to pieces ...   
  
/Difficult enough to feel a little bit   
Disappointed, passed over./  
  
No! I would just dismiss those thoughts. I wouldn't let him have the feeling of being dismissed and lost, again. He's my best friend ... and I can't just give up on him. He makes me smile for Christ sake ... he makes me feel happy. And if he were to die, all my happiness would die with him. Looking around once again, I realized that I'd need to look closer to the ground and, whether I liked it or not, under some of the pieces of metal that were burning or laying around, covering up bloodied bodies. I felt horrible, and I had the worst feeling that I'd skipped over him. Left him to die among the thousands all around me. It was a horrible thought to have, and it damn well could have happened, if it weren't for that voice, straining to call from my far left...  
  
/When I've looked right through,   
To see you naked and oblivious and you don't see me/  
  
"Heero!" the voice had called, "Heero-sama, h ... help!" I spun around and ran towards the quickly fading voice. The voice was getting louder as I got closer, and all I could think of was how hurt he sounded. I could just hear it, almost as though there were two voices coming from his mouth, one stating the obvious and the other giving a more obscure message. I finally reached my dear friend, to find another body and a half on him. I lugged the torso of one man and the body of the other off him and neatly placed them on the ground. Kneeling down, I picked up his head to support it, as though he were a new born baby, and inspected the rest of his body. He was almost completely naked, aside from pieces of his pants, barely covering his upper thighs and such. His legs were a mess - he might just as well of not had any. Blood everywhere, but nothing missing. Even then, as I was holding him, he was still calling out for me - begging me to come. He was completely oblivious to my presence and I remember thinking that he was so beaten up, he couldn't feel my hands on his skin. I didn't know that that wasn't the half of it.  
  
/Well I threw you the obvious,   
Just to see if there's more behind the/...  
  
"Duo," I had whispered, "Duo, I'm here. Shh, I'm here" I practically had to shake him to get him to be quiet. As soon as he hushed, I wished he hadn't, because I could hear men off in the distance, screaming in pain. I held him closer, it not occurring to me that he was in pain. Most likely because he hadn't felt me earlier ... or so I thought. He let out a scream unlike any other I've ever heard. It was full of emotions, bleeding them as he was blood, and so loud and agonizing it made me want to cry. It was as though I could feel his pain, for a brief second or two. When he quieted, he whimpered, and whispered to me,  
  
"Heero, it hurts too much to open my eyes, so just tell me the truth - I'm dying, aren't I?" Silently, I nodded my head, but I think he understood. I didn't really feel like speaking anyway ... I was beyond tears, let alone speech.  
  
/Eyes of a fallen angel,   
Eyes of a tragedy./  
  
"Duo, open your eyes. Even if it hurts, just open them," I had said when I regained the ability to talk. Slowly, he lifted his eyelids, revealing both the most beautiful and ugly things I've ever seen. His cobalt blue eyes were so bright they were purple, and if they could be hot, they'd be aflame with emotion. But they were also bloodshot and surrounded by cuts and scrapes. The God of Death was a battle between good and evil locked within and he looked as though he had just taken part in the war. His eyes told the entire story. We sat there, staring into each other's eyes, reading each other. Both books were open to the same page, and that page wasn't a happy one. When I finally blinked, I saw something that would have made anyone else faint - he was bleeding out of his eyes. I wiped his face, and didn't say a word. But he knew ... I could read it in his eyes.  
  
/Here I am expecting just a little bit   
Too much from the wounded/  
  
"Heero," he managed to squeeze out one last time, "Some of Father Maxwell's last words were 'O, Fortuna'. I looked it up once and," from there, his voice dropped to the lowest possible tone that I could still comprehend, "It means 'Oh, fortune'. It's just too bad my fortune wasn't all that I hoped it could have been." The worst thing about his little speech was that he used the last of his strength to kiss me ... right on the lips. It was so soft ... almost as though a butterfly has landed there for a brief second. And that's all I got ... a brief second from my would-be koibito. But what did I expect? As he fell back into my arms I heard him whisper something so low it was almost a breath - "O, Fortuna..."  
  
/But I see,   
See through it all,   
See through,   
And see you./  
  
...And I picked him up as gently as I could. I laid him down away from all the bodies, and out of the bloody inferno. I dug a shallow hole with my bloodied, bare hands, and put him into it. But not before going through his pockets. Ok, ok, I know it's sick, but I needed to know what he'd forgotten - what he'd died for. I found it quite easily, actually, as it was the only thing in his pocket. It was in a white envelope, singed almost black from the explosion. Carefully, I opened it up and pulled out a ring and a letter. I decided to read the letter first, figuring that it would explain the presence of such a plain, silver ring. I read the letter, and then read it again. I immediately put the ring on after reading it three or four more times. It was so short ... and it only meant something to he and I. It clearly said -   
  
"Heero,  
My one wish is for you to love me as I love you, though it will never happen, I just hope you can understand enough to remember me. Keep the ring, as, you know, something to remember me by. I'm going to Earth and starting over ... just don't tell the Doctors that. They'll come and find me, and I'm sick of this damn war. Too much fighting, too much death, even for me. Hope to see you again when the war is all over with. I'll love you forever,  
Duo"  
  
And from there, it hit me, and I could see through his, former, mask.  
  
/So I threw you the obvious   
Do you see what occurs behind the/...  
  
"So there, that's all of that," I said, leaning back in the squishy chair.  
  
"And what did you do when you were done burying him? How did you *feel* about burying your 'koibito'?" My psychologist pried. He wouldn't just let the subject go like I'd hoped he would. I should have known better.  
  
"I stood up, went back to my Gundam, and called the other pilots to tell them. Don't even ask about how they reacted, I'd rather not think about it," the man slowly closed his mouth and sat back, a smug, corrected look on his face, "As for how I felt, how do you *think* I felt? I had just buried the one I loved, with out saying good bye and without an 'I love you'! I mean, come *on*!"  
  
"So, you were sad, depressed?" If I were armed, I'd have shot the bastard right then.  
  
"Are you simple! It's obvious, and you can't even see past my mask! Aren't you *paid* to do this? Fuck you, and fuck this, I'm leaving."  
  
/Eyes of a fallen angel   
Eyes of a tragedy/  
  
I stood up, grabbed by trench coat, and walked back out to the waiting room.  
  
"Just mail me the fuckin' bill," I spat at the receptionist, as I slammed the door and made my way home. I only lived a block from the place, so I walked every week ... but not anymore. I wasn't about to go back to that idiot, not after the stupidity he displayed today. I just couldn't stand it anymore. Opening the door to my apartment, I threw my coat on the floor and hurled myself into the bathroom. Turning to the mirror, I stared at my eyes. Bloodshot, deep blue that engulfed you in a sea when you stared at them for too long. They were overflowing with the water the sea could no longer hold, giving me the look of someone who had gotten no sleep the night before. In truth, I hadn't had real sleep since that day ... I couldn't sleep knowing he was gone.  
  
/Well, oh well..   
Apparently nothing.   
Apparently nothing at all/  
  
I packed by bag quickly, putting only a change of clothes and a picture in there. Running outside, I caught a taxi to the airport and caught a shuttle to colony L2. I rented a motorcycle and rode down a road I hadn't been down in five years. I stopped at a clear area that looked like a plateau from far away. Stopping the bike, I walked over to a lump in the ground marked by a wooden cross and knelt down beside it. Memories flooded back to me of my fifteenth year ... of the war and of Duo and of all the things he'd said. I reached up and pulled down my bag, zipping it open and grabbing the picture I'd packed.  
  
"Oh Duo ... all that we could have had," I whispered it, setting it down on the make-shift grave that has somehow withstood the elements, "Not that it had ever mattered."  
  
/You don't   
You don't   
You don't see me/  
  
Standing up, I leaned me head back to the clouded sky and yelled, "Watching me from heaven, are you, Duo?" A drop of rain hit my nose, as though to say 'what heaven?'. That drop was followed by another, in my eye, and another, on my lips.   
  
"Well, I hope you see this!" And I blew a kiss at the artificial sky and flicked it off.  
  
/You don't   
You don't   
You don't see me/  
  
"That's for you, God, wherever you are, for taking the only love I've ever felt away from me!" The rain began to fall faster and harder then, as if God, if he even existed, was warning me to stop while I was able. Of course, I didn't listen. He deserved it for killing the last of the human inside me.  
  
/You don't   
You don't   
You don't see me/  
  
I pulled out a gun and waved it at the sky.  
  
"See this God? I'll *show* you what I'm going to do with this!" I laughed, subconsciously using the laugh I reserved for when I killed someone. I pulled out a silver bullet that I'd had specially made for that occasion and that occasion alone. On it was engraved '1x2x1'. I'd become obsessed with loving Duo over the years, bottling it all up until then, when the bottle finally burst. Raising the gun to my lips, I kissed the barrel and pulled the trigger, falling backwards and landing, ironically, a foot from Duo's grave.  
  
/You don't   
You don't   
You don't see me at all/  
  
And so, I am here, forever to remain in hell. My torture isn't fire, or sadism, no, nothing that cliché. My punishment is to have that bullet embedded in my mouth, the picture of Duo and I that I placed on his grave - we're hugging in it - hung in front of me. I'll forever taste what killed me, I'll forever see what damned me. It's become a custom of mine to repeat a phrase once a day. It's sad, really, and most men who've heard me don't get it. What is it you ask? 'You don't see me at all' and it's true, damn it, *true*. 'You don't see me at all...'  
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Ooops, didn't add the footnote in the original. *rubs back of head and sweat drops* heh...  
  
[1] It's like sama in Japanese, you know, like Mr. or Mrs., except Era is specifically Mrs. - and it's Latin 


End file.
